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John's Rules to Live By


1. Never play cards with someone whose name begins with that of a major city.

2. Never ride the bus.

3. Never date a woman who has a tatoo of a dagger on her forearm.

4. When skydiving, always pull your ripcord.

5. Never trust a bald barber.

6. Never buy cheap toilet paper, no matter how good the deal.

7. Never eat from a roach coach.

8. Never lick a steak knife.

9. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

10. Never ask a woman if she is pregnant.



If you can think of anymore that deserve to be here drop me an email.